Are you curious about how people manipulate your thoughts for their own gain? If yes! Then, this article is penned down for you. There are instances where some individuals gain control over others to make them behave or feel a certain way to fulfil their selfish ambitions or achieve a particular goal. The best way to safeguard yourself from such crafty people is to learn everything you need to know about dark psychology to be safe and pull yourself out of such shady situations. Now, before learning about the various tactics of dark psychology, psychological manipulation and dark seduction and ways to deal with them, it is essential first to understand what dark psychology means.
Dark psychology attempts to study a human’s natural tendency to control and take advantage of others for personal gains. One of the core assumptions of dark psychology is that every human has dark urges within them. Sometimes, we may be unable to stop imagining scenarios where we act unkindly or even catch ourselves contemplating ways to influence others to get what we want.
For example, in a moment of anger, we might say, “I feel like killing this person,” even though we don’t truly mean it. We usually find ways to suppress such unhelpful impulses or urges. We don’t act on them because we understand that harming someone, let alone killing them, is both morally wrong and legally punishable.
Dark psychology attempts to understand individuals who cannot resist such harmful urges or impulses toward others. It seeks to understand why some people engage in undesirable behaviours such as cheating, lying, stealing, manipulating, and, in extreme cases, inflicting physical harm to get what they want from others.
Understanding dark psychology and manipulation strategies will help us better understand the psychology of social and emotional predators and the devious tactics they use to exploit their targets. Dark psychology and manipulative techniques are rampant these days, so it is important to stay equipped with everything you need to know about dark psychology to be safe and sound from these manipulators and their wicked schemes.
Psychological manipulation is a form of social influence in which the main goal is to alter the target’s thought process or behaviours using direct or indirect exploitative techniques based on the manipulator’s self-interest. Manipulators make their targets question their reality, mainly through deception; they lie to deceive their targets. Other major tactics that manipulators use include instilling fear and guilt, brainwashing, showing anger toward the target and emotional blackmail.
The dark side of psychological manipulation can be comprehended if you have a good understanding of the “The Dark Triad”. The Dark Triad consists of three key personality traits that drive manipulative behaviours and, when taken to an extreme, may lead to criminal actions. The dark triad traits are hallmark traits of a manipulator. There are 3 dark triad traits, and let’s look at each to understand the mystery surrounding the behaviours manipulators display. The 3 dark triad traits are as follows:
1) Narcissism
2) Machiavellianism
3) Psychopathy
Narcissism is best defined as love for oneself to the extent of being incredibly selfish. People who possess this trait hatch plans to always be in the spotlight. Narcissism is characterised by feelings of entitlement (a sense of deserving special treatment) and conceit (self-importance and arrogance). Narcissists care about getting others to do what they want them to do. Narcissists love to get their egos stroked, and their main objective is to win the trust of others and experience a sense of admiration.
Narcissistic individuals are kind to others as long as they feel admired and appreciated. They have a strong need to control everything and everyone around them and are less bothered about the effects of their behaviour on others. A typical narcissist is formed due to emotional neglect and abuse during childhood, which subjects them to issues related to control and a lack of affection.
Machiavellianism is a trait of individuals who are overly cunning and calculative. Most of the Machiavellians are highly intelligent and methodical in their approach. They always keep scheming to get their way and see people as means to an end. They stay connected with people only as long as those people are of use to them and later cut ties without a second thought once they are no longer useful.
In short, they treat people as objects. Highly skilled manipulators display traits of Machiavellianism to a great extent.
In general terms, psychopathy means a lack of emotions. Psychopaths are individuals who don’t feel empathy. However, they possess cognitive empathy, which means they understand the intellectual consequences of their unhealthy behaviours and actions. They know that their behaviour will hurt or harm others, but they choose not to care. Psychopaths skillfully manipulate others’ emotions, demonstrating their fair understanding of people’s feelings.
People with psychopathic tendencies do everything to experience a sense of pleasure, even if it means inflicting serious physical and psychological harm on others. Psychopaths are highly charming and sometimes can be polite, too, to lure their targets. They are likely to prey on easy targets to inflict damage.
Psychopaths lack self-control, making it easier for them to fulfil their animalistic desires and execute their fantasies. Most serial killers fit into the profile of a psychopath. Chronic exposure to psychological trauma, abuse, and a neglectful environment goes into the development of a psychopath.
However, gaining a good grasp of the dark triad traits and learning everything you need to know about dark psychology can help you identify such cold strategists and stay protected.
Manipulators use psychological tricks that can be either obvious or subtle, making them hard to detect. Let’s look at the different strategies these manipulators use so that you can spot their tactics and stay safe. Some key tactics that will enlighten you with everything you need to know about dark psychology to be safe from emotional predators are as follows:
1) Deceiving Targets Through Lying
Lying is one of the go-to strategies manipulators use because lies work better than stating the truth, helping them achieve their goals effortlessly. One of the most common approaches they use is saying flat-out lies, which means misleading the target using false information.
Another strategy used for deception through lying is “fake news” Here, the manipulator presents false information where one part of it is true. In contrast, the other part of the information is altered. The manipulator resorts to this strategy to make themselves appear sincere and the information credible.
Ex: Imagine a couple in a happy marital relationship; a friend calls the wife and tells her that she saw her husband last night at a restaurant with a woman and is suspicious of him having an affair with her. While it is true that the husband had dinner with a woman at a restaurant, the assumption that he is involved in an illicit relationship may be untrue, as it is based on her perception of the situation. However, the truth could be that he might be having a sales meeting with a client.
If the wife blindly follows whatever her friend says, it can negatively affect her relationship with her husband.
Here, the manipulator shares some truthful information while withholding important details. This strategy is also known as “faking out.”
For example, the manipulator may borrow money from someone (lender), saying they need it urgently to cover household expenses, when in reality, they may need it to buy alcohol. The need for money is real, but the target (lender) will not know the actual reason behind the manipulator’s need for money.
This form of deception involves creating events that never took place or hiding those that occurred.
Ex: Some lawyers are skilled at convincing the judge that their client is not guilty. However, this does not always mean the client is innocent. Instead, they use the lack of evidence to prevent their client from being convicted.
Here, the manipulator makes a big and unreasonable request to the target, knowing the request will be rejected. Then, after the rejections, they will follow it up with small and reasonable requests where the target is highly likely to give in. This technique works because it stirs a sense of guilt and breeds ideas of concession in the target. Therefore, being aware of this commonly used dark psychology tactic will help you get rid of situations where others might try to deceive you.
Ex: A person might need 500 rupees from you, so they will first ask you for ₹1000. Once you reject the request, they will ask you to lend them ₹500. Now, ₹500 seems more reasonable than ₹1000, adding to the technique’s effectiveness. This is also a tactic that most Indian auto drivers use.
The manipulator who uses this technique will initially ask for small favours and slowly start asking for increasingly bigger ones as the target relents each time. They do this till they get what they ultimately want from the target or till the target feels exhausted.
Ex: A manipulator who wants to borrow ₹1 lakh may start small. First, they ask for ₹15,000 and return it, then borrow ₹25,000 and pay it back. They continue this pattern, slowly increasing the amount each time to gain the target’s trust. Eventually, they request larger sums until they get ₹1 lakh. Once they get the full amount, they will disappear from the target’s life.
In the yes-set technique, the person will get the target to say a “Yes” to a series of small and seemingly insignificant requests before they present a big and important request. Here, they will ask questions in such a way that the target answers with a “Yes” to the series of questions that are asked.
Ex: Imagine you are a salesperson promoting a brand-new product. You start by asking customers questions like, “Do you enjoy saving money?”, “Do you prefer high-quality products?” After getting several “yes” responses, you finally present the product and persuade them to buy it.
Reverse psychology involves persuading someone to do something by suggesting the exact opposite of what you want them to do. This technique works on the idea that people often resist being told what to do and prefer to make their own choices. It is a covert form of manipulation that creates the illusion that the decision is entirely the target’s own.
Ex: Sometimes, when we feel a friend is not spending quality time with us, we use statements like, “I know you are so busy in life that you have no time for me these days.” By hinting that they don’t care about you, you hope to get a reaction from them. Now, chances are high that your friend will get defensive and spend more time with you to prove you wrong.
Negative hidden commands are low-key and indirect suggestions that have the potential to influence people’s behaviour without them being consciously aware of it. Here, negative phrasing is used to convey specific information indirectly.
Ex: Imagine you want a friend to attend a party. Instead of telling them directly what to do, you give them a negative hidden command, like “You should not miss out on this fun event.”
Blackmail is one of the favourite tools a manipulator would like to use. Blackmail essentially has some form of information or knowledge that, if revealed, can damage the victim’s reputation. Chances are very high for the victim to go along, fearing the damaging effects failing to comply with the manipulator can have on them.
Ex: A blackmailer obtains private photos of a young girl and threatens her, saying they will leak the photos on various social media platforms if she fails to give them a specific amount of money. Out of fear, the young girl pays a hefty amount to protect her reputation.
Sadly, manipulative individuals these days use charm and love bombing to attract and impress emotionally vulnerable women, drawing them into romantic relationships. After gaining their trust and love, these predators slowly convince the women to get physically involved with them, secretly record the act, and later use those private videos to blackmail them and demand a substantial amount of money. Some women, unable to cope with the shock and emotional torment, ultimately end up killing themselves.
The wisest thing to do is to walk away from such exploiters the moment you sense that you are being love-bombed or are being coaxed into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable. In such cases, trust your gut and listen to it.
Manipulators use love bombing during the initial phase of a relationship to extract some personal gain from the victim. The main goal of love bombing is to implant feelings of love, trust, and compliance towards the manipulator. They exhibit favourable feelings rigorously and abruptly.
However, it should be borne in mind that in the heart of hearts, the manipulator would have little or no care or concern for the victim. The modus operandi of manipulators who use love bombing combines physical attraction and a display of charming nature.
Imagine a person who is desperate, lonely, hopeless, emotionally vulnerable or broken, with very low self-esteem. Such individuals become easy targets for manipulators who engage in love bombing to gain control over them. These manipulators choose people starved for love and attention, exploit their fragilities, and eventually abandon them, leaving them emotionally damaged.
Ex: A manipulator using love bombing makes the victim feel special and perfect, calling them their ideal soulmate or an ideal woman or man they have ever met. They may give costly gifts, rush into living together or marrying the victim, and make grand promises about the future (aka future faking) to succeed in their attempts to manipulate and get what they want.
Let’s now go a little further and explore the advanced yet effective psychological manipulation tactics that expert manipulators use. They use these tactics so that you won’t even be able to identify the level of expertise these manipulators have. Some of the advanced psychological manipulation tactics are as follows:
Gaslighting is one of the most powerful tactics that manipulators use. Here, the manipulator attempts to make the victim question their memory, thoughts, and sanity. In short, the manipulator makes the victim believe whatever they want them to believe. Gaslighting involves causing psychological or emotional distress to the victim to put them in a state of doubt so that they end up thinking that they are living in a world of imagination.
Gaslighting is a widespread tactic many politicians use, which is why their initial response to a scandal is often outright denial when it first emerges. Hence, gaining a solid understanding of everything you need to know about dark psychology and, particularly, gaslighting, which is such a common yet powerful manipulative tactic, will help you identify and protect yourself from such manipulation.
Ex: In the case of abuse, it could be abuse of any form. The abuser keeps on telling the victim that there is no abuse happening and they are just blowing things out of proportion or being hypersensitive for no reason. This form of denial that the abuser uses makes the victim question their perception of the event. Unfortunately, this causes the victim to think that they are weak and that they are at fault.
Negging is a kind of psychological manipulation where the manipulator seeks to attack the victim’s self-esteem. It is a subtle form of emotional abuse. In negging, the manipulator insults or criticises the victim in the form of a compliment. Negging is often used to induce feelings of insecurity in the victim.
For example, let’s assume person A is a girl and she goes to a party. She meets person B, and they say, “You would be gorgeous if you lost some weight.” This compliment suggests that person A’s appearance can be improved only if they are fit and slim; as a result, it can lower their self-esteem and cause body image issues.
Negging hardly works on those who know about dark psychology and manipulation tactics, as they easily recognise such mind games.
The long con technique is a slow, time-consuming, yet highly potent manipulation tactic. If the manipulator senses that the target is showing resistance or does not trust the manipulator enough, they will establish a good rapport and work on ways to win the target’s trust. Once the target feels comfortable with them and develops trust, they will begin their work. The manipulator will start by pushing the target to make choices in the manipulator’s best interests.
Manipulators start this way for two reasons: first, to make the victim comfortable with being influenced, and second, to generate a sense of mutual benefit in the relationship (for example, making the victim believe they have pure intentions, such as marriage). A manipulator may convince their target to marry them. While the target develops genuine feelings, the manipulator uses the relationship to gain wealth, status, or influence. After achieving their goal, they abandon the target and look for another victim.
Many individuals use guilt and shame as some of the most well-known tactics to manipulate others. Manipulators are likely to use the “guilt” and “shame” cards, fusing them with moral values to influence others negatively. Manipulators often play the blame game to control situations in relationships, politics, and business.
For example, consider a supervisor in a company’s production department who makes a mistake that costs the company money. When questioned by higher-ups, he shifts the blame to the line workers by saying, “I am an expert in what I do”. Blame shifting in this context becomes effective as it places the responsibility on the workers, who may not be seen as “experts” in the field.
Taking it a step further, the supervisor might tell the workers, “You guys have let me down after everything I have done for you,” making them feel guilty and prompting them to take the blame for something they did not do.
The next time someone uses the blame game technique, you need to know that the manipulator has knowledge of dark psychology and is skilled at psychological manipulation. Keeping this in mind, stay alert and minimise your interactions with such a person.
Triangulation is one of the most preferred techniques among manipulators, especially those who love controlling others. It involves a partnership between the manipulator, the target, and a third party. In this technique, the manipulator creates drama or tension between two people (the target and the third party) to benefit the manipulator.
Ex: Imagine a manipulator in a relationship who keeps telling the current partner that their ex keeps trying to get their attention. Talking about the ex-partner makes the target, or, in this case, the current partner, feel insecure and jealous, causing them to love the manipulator harder and work towards finding newer ways to win their attention. The manipulator is using triangulation here to make themselves feel significant and desirable.
Here, the term “State” refers to a person’s overall emotional condition. Manipulators use this concept to establish a connection by mirroring the target’s emotions.
For example, if the target is sad, the manipulator may slow their speech, which is different from their usual speaking pace, to adapt to the target’s emotional state and form a rapport at the subconscious level. Once the manipulator thinks they have created an emotional connection, they raise their voice or speak more firmly to observe the target’s response.
If the target stays engaged and shows interest in them, the manipulator takes these as signs to influence their emotions. The manipulator can shift the target’s emotions positively or negatively, depending on what they want to achieve and the situation.
Many people think that dark seduction is something manipulators use to seduce their targets for sexual purposes. But dark seduction goes beyond the act of engaging in a physical relationship. Dark seduction refers to the manipulator making romantic advances for personal or self-serving gain. Some dark seducers are involved in dark seduction to derive pleasure or feed their need for power; some even marry their target to gain access to the target’s wealth or social status; as mentioned earlier, once they have drained the target’s resources, the target will be deserted.
Dark seducers often conceal their true identity. If you find someone highly secretive or mysterious, consider that a major red flag. Dark seducers don’t cause any harm to the target except emotional distress. If a dark seducer’s real motive is to force a sexual act on someone, it’s more likely they are a psychopath rather than a typical dark seducer.
However, recognising how dark seducers operate is part of what you need to know about dark psychology to stay emotionally safe and vigilant. The three dark seduction techniques commonly used by dark seducers are as follows:
Dark seducers and manipulators often rely on their good looks. They use them to their advantage to gain access to the minds and lives of their targets. Often, these individuals seek targets who are less physically attractive, someone older than them, or those who are seeking love and attention. They leverage their striking looks to influence their targets and make them lower their guard.
The majority of the dark seducers use charm to manipulate others. A combination of physical attractiveness and charm will help manipulators and dark seducers succeed in exploiting people. Dark seducers tend to flirt with their targets, not intending to establish a meaningful, long-term relationship with them. They engage in flirtatious behaviours solely to get what they want from their targets, and once they fulfil their need, they leave the target’s life without looking back.
Here, the manipulator makes sexual advances, causing the target to believe they will receive sexual favours. However, the manipulator gets what they want without engaging in a physical relationship. The key manipulation here is that the manipulator rarely follows through with sex but keeps the target interested by promising it, using the idea to obtain what they want.
Manipulators can target anyone, but they particularly choose people who are sensitive, highly empathetic, afraid of loneliness and disappointing others. One of the best ways to protect yourself from these deceitful individuals is to know everything you need to know about dark psychology and maintain strong boundaries. Here are a few effective tips you can follow to shield yourself from manipulators:
Manipulators who engage in dark psychology, psychological manipulation, and dark seduction have a deep understanding of human behaviour. They often appear charming and trustworthy at first but prey on psychological vulnerabilities. I hope this article has provided you with everything you need to know about dark psychology to be safe and confidently say a “No” to manipulators and people whose behaviour seems suspicious.
Most importantly, if someone’s manipulative behavior in your life is causing emotional distress, seek help from trusted people or a therapist.
If you found this article insightful, please share your views in the comment section. I would love to hear your thoughts. Also, feel free to contact me here if you are in a difficult situation and need psychological support.
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