“With confidence, you have won even before you have started” – Marcus Garvey.
Self-confidence is one of the most desirable qualities that you can possess. Operating from a space of self-confidence helps you reach the pinnacle of success in all spheres of life as it boosts performance. Conversely, low self-confidence can lead to poor performance. This article aims to enlighten you about the 11 crucial factors that influence a person’s self-confidence and provides 8 actionable strategies you can adopt to attain healthy levels of self-confidence to achieve success.
Let’s begin by understanding what self-confidence means before we dig deeper into the 11 crucial factors that influence a person’s self-confidence and the strategies to build unbreakable self-confidence.
Self-confidence refers to your faith in your abilities, skills, judgements, and capabilities to navigate the various situations life puts you into. Self-confidence is more than a positive feeling—it has to do more with your attitude.
Self-confidence can positively impact your life, boosting your growth and overall well-being. Some of the key reasons to up your self-confidence are as follows:
Healthy self-esteem is vital for enjoying good mental health, and most importantly, it helps increase your self-worth. Self-esteem refers to the thoughts you have about yourself and your capabilities. A person with healthy self-confidence and self-esteem can face life’s challenges, demonstrate resilience, and make well-informed decisions.
A positive attitude is a key contributor to psychological wellness. Having high self-confidence helps foster an optimistic attitude. A confident person approaches every situation in their life with an optimistic mindset and a can-do attitude. When faced with life’s challenges, they focus more on finding solutions than dwelling on the problem.
Confident people are likely to make good decisions that will yield favourable outcomes. They weigh the pros and cons of every potential solution before taking action. Above all, they make practical decisions with a strong sense of conviction.
To develop and maintain healthy relationships, you must embody healthy levels of self-confidence. Self-confidence helps you express yourself authentically, which will help you attract like-minded people with whom you can develop healthy relationships. It also enables you to be assertive, enforce healthy boundaries, and contribute positively to any relationship you share with people.
Confident people don’t set goals mindlessly; they set realistic, attainable and actionable goals. Moreover, they believe in their ability to achieve the set goals, exhibiting high levels of determination and perseverance, contributing to their overall growth and success. The successful attainment of goals also fuels their existing levels of self-confidence and self-efficacy.
Highly self-confident individuals handle failures well. They view failures as feedback on their efforts and adjust their strategies accordingly to achieve success. Confident individuals perceive failures as an opportunity to learn and improve themselves.
The four most significant facts that you need to know before learning about the crucial factors that influence a person’s self-confidence or before you even consider working on your self-confidence are as follows:
We all have strengths and limitations. For example, just because you are good at writing but not so good at speaking, don’t feel tempted to put yourself down and allow that to consume your self-confidence. Instead, focus more on your existing abilities, talents, strengths, and accomplishments as you work on the areas that need improvement. Self-confidence is what you believe about your overall capabilities and skills.
Many people who appear self-confident may still struggle with fear and insecurities. Just because someone looks confident does not mean they are free from self-doubts. We all experience moments of fear and self-doubt; what matters is not letting those feelings get the better of us. Stay focused on your goals, consider setbacks as learning experiences, and remember that help is always available to facilitate your personal growth.
We mostly won’t get everything right on the first attempt. When we were asked to make a speech for the first time, many of us would have felt anxious and fumbled, but the more we spoke in front of people, the better we might have become at giving a speech and conquering our fears and self-doubts. The same logic applies to building your self-confidence as well.
The more you practise, the more your confidence grows. It helps you face your fears and overcome them. Over time, this builds a strong belief within yourself that you can literally achieve anything you set your mind to.
Avoid speaking negatively about yourself, your abilities, accomplishments, and strengths to people around you, as they will be likely to form premature judgments. Negative self-talk will prevent you from securing good opportunities and possibly hinder your growth. Engaging in negative self-talk will trick your mind into believing the negative narratives unquestioningly and make your mind function from a negative emotional state.
Self-confidence is governed and shaped by many factors throughout our life’s journey. The 11 crucial factors that influence a person’s self-confidence are outlined below:
Psychological conditions like depression and anxiety are likely to affect a person’s self-confidence negatively. Perfectionistic tendencies, negative self-talk, and failure to operate from a growth mindset can also wreak havoc on a person’s self-belief and self-confidence. It is important to note that self-belief and self-confidence are interlinked and have the potential to influence each other.
An individual’s knowledge or awareness of his strengths, abilities, and accomplishments plays a key role in determining the level of self-confidence they possess. If people focus on all their good qualities, strengths, talents, and achievements, their self-confidence will be higher. Similarly, their self-confidence can be eroded if they only focus on their shortcomings and failures.
Past experiences primarily shape a person’s self-confidence. If a person has been subjected to repeated failures in life and exposed to harsh criticisms, where they were severely attacked for the kind of person they are and their abilities, it can dent their self-confidence as it would fuel a lot of self-doubts. The parenting a person has received also contributes to their self-worth and self-confidence.
Healthy and strong relationships with family and friends are essential for developing healthy self-confidence. The encouragement and constructive feedback from such close connections help foster our self-confidence and self-esteem. A person in unhealthy relationships since childhood is likely to have low self-confidence, generating feelings of neglect and invalidation.
Our overall perception of our bodies’ appearance affects our self-confidence. A negative body image or comparing our physical appearance to others is likely to diminish our self-confidence and breed feelings of inadequacy. Likewise, chronic health issues or disabilities that limit our functionality and make us depend on others excessively are also one of the crucial factors that negatively influence a person’s self-confidence.
Most of us try to match the idealised beauty standards of celebrities that the media glorifies and depicts. Comparing ourselves to such media portrayals and being so hard on ourselves to achieve unrealistic beauty standards can sabotage our self-confidence. Eventually, setting the stage for the development of eating disorders.
We spend most of our day at our workplace, and the quality of our interactions with our colleagues and higher-ups will shape our self-confidence. A psychologically nurturing workplace, where employees’ efforts are recognised and valued and where they feel supported, will make them happy and fulfilled. On the contrary, if employees feel that they are being rejected, overworked, humiliated, and not recognised for their efforts, it will jeopardize their psychological wellness and self-confidence.
A person’s financial status is another key factor influencing their self-confidence. Financial security generates a sense of peace and control over our lives, elevating our self-confidence. Conversely, a person with financial constraints is likely to feel worried, anxious, inadequate, and underconfident.
The culture a person grew up in is a crucial factor that influences their self-confidence. When people feel accepted, valued, belonged, and supported within their community, their confidence naturally strengthens. On the flip side, negative stereotypes, societal pressures, and experiences of rejection can undermine self-esteem and self-confidence, making it harder for individuals to feel secure within themselves. Cultural attitudes and expectations shape how we perceive our worth, influencing our confidence positively or negatively.
It is essential to remember that the association between religious norms and self-confidence is complex and differs significantly across religious traditions and individuals. Some people experience great comfort and strength from their respective religions. Conversely, some spiritual traditions emphasise perfectionism and abstinence from sins or wrongdoings, which are likely to induce feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy, resulting in low self-confidence.
Academic pressure significantly affects students’ self-confidence globally, especially those in high school (grades 9–12) and college. The relentless expectation to excel, fear of letting down parents or teachers, and comparisons with top-performing peers can contribute to stress, anxiety, and burnout. Over time, this pressure can take a toll on a student’s confidence, making it challenging for them to believe in their abilities.
The best part about wanting to build your self-confidence is that you can choose to do it anytime, provided you take responsibility and put in the needed effort. Some of the sure-shot ways you can try to boost your self-confidence are as follows:
Prioritising physical and mental well-being can profoundly impact self-confidence. A nutrient-dense diet, adequate sleep, and regular exercise enhance overall health and help you feel and look your best. When you care for your body and mind, you will glow from the inside out and feel more energetic, capable, self-assured, and confident.
Reflecting on your accomplishments and strengths when you feel underconfident can instantly uplift your self-confidence. Imagine the times your mentors, peers, or superiors have complimented your performance, good qualities, or specific strengths you possess. Recalling and basking in those moments can prove beneficial and make you feel great about yourself.
Getting out of your comfort zone can feel fearful and uncomfortable at the start, but the moment you attempt to come out of your comfort zone, you can grow and become the person you have always desired to be. For example, if you feel uncomfortable talking to people, try initiating brief conversations with a small group of people you feel safe with at work, academic settings, or religious gatherings. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, this can help you feel good about yourself and your effort to step out of your comfort zone.
Whenever you feel underconfident, ask yourself, “How would I behave if I feel confident?” “How would the person you look up to(role model) in life handle a challenging or anxiety-provoking situation?” The person you admire and whose qualities you would like to emulate should be someone exuding healthy levels of self-confidence.
Practising confident behaviours like standing tall with good posture (head held high and relaxed shoulders pulled slightly back), speaking assertively, expressing your needs respectfully, and maintaining eye contact can gradually bolster your self-confidence.
One of the predominant qualities that confident individuals possess is standing up for themselves, known as being “assertive“. Being assertive shouldn’t be confused with being selfish. When you learn to stand up for yourself, you can deal with challenging situations effectively. Remember, you are the one who teaches people how to treat you.
Ex: If you don’t like it when someone unnecessarily raises their voice against you while interacting with them, stand up for yourself and say, “It makes me feel uncomfortable when spoken to this way, and I would appreciate it if you could communicate using a better tone.”
Anchoring is a strategy in which you rely on past experiences to feel confident in the present. An anchor is any stimulus you use to generate certain emotions. To use an anchor that energises you, you first need to relax and recall a moment when you felt 100 % at your best when people around you praised you for something you had accomplished. Mentally gather all the sensory details such as smells, sights, and sounds from that moment of appreciation and bring them into your current environment. Now, “anchor” those feelings—in other words, experience them.
Next, choose a gesture you wouldn’t usually use (ensure you don’t use your thumb and fingers, as the subconscious mind associates these with calmness). You can make a closed fist, move it up and down, and repeat the phrase “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!” at least five times. Keep practising this for a few weeks, and you should experience a sudden surge of energy physically and mentally whenever you do it.
The inner critic is the little voice in your head that talks to you negatively. Whenever you find the inner critic doing its work of speaking negatively about yourself, your abilities, or life situations like “You are unintelligent,” “You are a loser,” or “Things will always go wrong for you,” silence it by laughing at it by saying statements like “So you are that negative thought trying to steal my peace? I finally caught you red-handed. Ha! Ha! Ha!”. This technique is beneficial as you also incorporate a touch of humour.
Follow the strategies that resonate the most with you to build your self-confidence regularly. Do not think about working on your confidence only when you feel vulnerable; make it a point to work towards it even when you feel great. The more you build your confidence, the more confident you will become.
Now that you are aware of the 11 crucial factors that influence a person’s self-confidence, it becomes easier to identify what may be affecting yours and to take proactive steps to overcome the barriers holding you back. As you strengthen your confidence, remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Trust your ability to break free from your fears and insecurities, and stay committed to using the strategies mentioned above to support your journey.
Building self-confidence takes time, so don’t be discouraged by the small hiccups you face along the way. Stay consistent with your efforts to enhance your self-confidence; eventually, you will reap the fruits.
If you are on your self-growth journey and need guidance on building your self-confidence, please feel free to get in touch with me. Let’s create some personalised yet fun-filled strategies together to help you become a powerhouse of confidence.
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